Wow,
you are a real person with a real government position and everything. It seems. I looked at your website; it’s official. Do you know that you sent this email? Someone else may have sent it in your name. If it’s a scam, how do you benefit by having my Name, Phone and Fax Numbers, and [...]

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A whole lot better than a bouquet of roses…

 

from
Victoria <xiongq@jefferds.com>

to
a-principe@northwestern.edu

date
Sat, Feb 14, 2009 at 7:52 AM

subject
A Valentine wishes just for you

mailed-by
dslb-092-076-143-043.pools.arcor-ip.net

hide details Feb 14 (3 days ago)

Reply

 

Victoria sent you a Valentine Card and wrote this to you:
“We are amazing together!”

 
To pick up your greeting card, click on the following link at anytime within the next 20 days:
http://feoi.linkworldnews.com/?ID=71d96b6354e5648ae5a
Your eCard will be available with us for the [...]

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Being a terrible Jew

When I first made an email account at the young age of ten or so, my mother tampered with the parental controls to delete the penis enlarging, weight loss, and dating spam emails. Some got through despite AOL’s 4.0 protection, and my eyes were opened to the horrible world of spam. Irritating, disturbing, and (worst [...]

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Where are you?

My inbox, much like everyone else’s, is flooded. I’ve got emails from every student group on campus, j-crew, roadrunnersports, and whatever else tends to flood inboxes.What I don’t have, however, is spam.
I have waited. I have waited almost one week. I have three spam right now (I guess I lied). Two of them are facebook [...]

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Canadian Spam

Spam never particularly bothered me. I never understood why it bothered people so much. Sure it clogs your inboxes, but you can just delete it. Now that we have filters and email blocking technology, there’s really nothing to complain about. Telemarketers, I can understand people becoming annoyed with, but the email from Canadian Pharmacy asking [...]

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I’m (half) a MILLIONAIRE!

ATTN:EMAIL BENEFICIARY
This is to inform you that your Email address have won a prize
money of Five Hundred Thousand Dollars, ($500,000.00)
as one of the final recipients of a Cash Grant/Donation for your own
personal,education and business development for this year 2008 Lottery.
(Contact Our Fiduciary Agent for more informations.)
You can now begin the final step of the claims [...]

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Perform in bed every night

from
Tami Henderson <linimmoweltmet@immowelt.de>

reply-to
linimmoweltmet@immowelt.de

to
thefuneralparty@gmail.com

date
Mon, Feb 16, 2009 at 6:43 AM

subject
Perform in bed every night

***SAIL***
16 Vi rqx agra Pi prf lls FR sck EE
or
16 Ci pch alis P tis ills F jt REE
The benefits of Ci kaw alis
Works fast
Lasts up to 36 hours
Highly effec pgj tive
Keeps you ready
No need to plan around me mc als
Lea kus ves [...]

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yes, i would like to be fluent in spanish.

Dear Speak Spanish in 7 days,
If only google wasn’t so darn good at protecting my computer from the evil underbelly of the internet, I would be able to see exactly how your incredible site could transform me into a fluent Spanish speaker in only one short week. Really? If only I had had your assistance in [...]

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Dear Jo Armstrong,

From Jo Armstrong:
Longer Effect and Powerful Enhancement for 48 Hours!
All that we do let us do it for love! http://ruyxau.lightdegree.com/
 
Dear Mr. Armstrong, 
I certainly hope your penis is as strong as your arm for all the enhancement you are experiencing. How is that going for you? While I am sure that your girlfriend/wife/significant other enjoys the “longer [...]

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Some Spam From Me To You! / Project of Interest to Creative Non-Fiction Types

How are you all doing today?
That was a cheap joke, and you’ll realize just how cheap it is in just a second.
But seriously, whenever I’ve asked any of you how you are doing, I’ve meant it. I really care about how you’re doing! That’s not an empty phrase for me, and I suspect it’s not [...]

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CONGRATULATIONS…..YOU HAVE WON.
Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims
SWISS-LOTTO
Voltastraat 101,
7903 AA, Hoogeveen, Netherlands.
https://www.swisslotto.ch

CONGRATULATIONS!!!…..YOU HAVE WON Ђ 750,000 Euros
You have been awarded Ђ 750,000 Euros in the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite Software email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by Software powered by the Internet through the worldwide website.
Your email address was amongst [...]

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janebts@travelaroundghz.info

hello,
when we meet again ?
Let me know about that
Also check what i found yesterday
the great pharmacy on the net here
http://www.cottonchick.com

Dear Jane BTS,

I’m really sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you. I’ve been very busy and simply haven’t had time to “meet again.” Funny thing is though, I don’t really [...]

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You’ve hit the nail on the head, sir!

Hey, are you the guy who cannot make love?

Aleks Brock
 to w-bergstrom

show details Jan 31 (13 days ago)

Reply

 

  
 

Canadian *** Pharmacy
#1 Internet Inline Drugstore

 

Viagra
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Cialis Super Active
Our price $3.66

 

Levitra
Our price $2.93

 

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And more…

Click here

 
 

 
 

Dear Aleks,
Bingo! You, good sir, have read me like an open book. I can’t say I [...]

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Cups of Krups (other post was cut off)

Dear Williams-Sonoma,
How DARE you suggest I do not want to receive promotional email messages from you?? I know we’ve had our troubles in the past, what with the malfunctioning eggbeater of 2003, but I thought we had moved past playing such games. 
I love you guys, I really do. I didn’t even ask for this, you [...]

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Cups of Krups

Your perfect cup of coffee just got even better.
Our new Krups Power Brew coffeemaker’s
advanced brewing system brews faster, with
oversized showerhead and perfect temperature
control for the best tasting coffee.
• Brews 21% faster and 5% hotter than
   other coffeemakers
• Makes up to 12 cups
• A Williams-Sonoma exclusive
• Top-rated customer favorite

Legendary Italian
Coffee – great for all
types of machines.
Illy Espresso
$13.95

Shop All Coffeemakers
Shop Espresso Makers
Shop Coffee, Tea [...]

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“Get Valentine’s Day Prophylactics!” came in 2nd Place

Dear player@belgiumantiques.com,
You’ve ensnared me. I want to know you.  No, really, I want to know who you are, what you do, and whether you wear glasses or not.  If you do wear glasses, are they Transitions lenses? Does the sizzling glow of your giant grey computer monitor gleam off of the medium-brown of the indoor [...]

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QUIT your job! Earn 1000 dollars or more per week

From: “Michael Vincent” <MichaelVincentUoBiWV@outearly.com>
To: “Alleliah” <myemail@spamfolder.com>

I found you a new job!! Start Today, Click Here

To unsubscribe please go here
or send mail to:
3867 W. Market Street Suite 256
Akron, OH 44333

Dear Mr. Vincent:
I received your letter concerning a positioned to be filled. I am sorry to say that I must decline your offer.
Clearly, you are [...]

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Want to Check Out my Globe?

Explore Google Earth with Map Contacts – Find the best locations on earth
This great new feature allows you to display your friends and family on Google Earth and view their locations and surrounding areas.
Your Access Code: 6208
http://xdailysource.com/re.php?lnk=1203385040&e=mushaboom89@gmail.com
Google Earth is a Free software which allows you to view the world from the comfort of your PC. [...]

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Your Organ is not a Power Tool

Best girl-digging skills:
Gain the full control over your drilling machine.
http://sdefrancisco01zeqo.my3gb.com
 
TKO7O92
   
I don’t know what upsets me more about this Spam.  Is it its misogynistic title and crude reference to the male anatomy as a “drilling machine” (ouch!)?  Or is it its caveman simplicity?  My inner male’s intelligence is insulted by this Spam.  Men aren’t just interested [...]

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myquality4 has sent a question about item

eBay Member: myquality4Dear member,
Hi, I’m really interested in the product you are selling. Is there a number I can call you at to discuss payment, shipping, etc.? Please let me know because I need to buy it soon. Thanks,Tom.
-myquality4
Dear Tom,
I was delighted to receive your inquiry about the product I am selling on eBay.  Your [...]

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Cash4Gold, a thousand apologies.

Dear Cash4Gold team,

First of all, thank you. I love your work. Your commercials are great. While their tackiness never ceases to amaze, it’s the endearing look on those fine people’s faces as they mail out their treasured heirlooms that really gets me. It almost makes me wish I was behind on my rent because of [...]

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But actually, I think you have the wrong person.

Dear Men’s Health,
While those muscles are quite tantalizing, I am not a man. Kindly remove me from your mailing list.
Femininely Yours,
Tiffany Wong

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does she talk that she does not love you?

How To Impress Yoour Girlfriend
Click HERE

Characteristics of the wilderness south of palestine. To
do? Thou shouldst not jest with us. How can tenfaced, producing
from his body numerous warriors reflecting also on the splendour
and prosperity or when the hour is over for setting the
dishes.1335.
Victoria Telfer
English 208: Reading & Writing Creative Nonfiction
Critique [...]

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Dear Gregg Downs, I will not click your link. I guess I’ll be fat forever.

Gregg Downs emailed me promising “Fat Loss” in the subject line. I opened it up and all it says is “Feel slim and confident in your swimming suit.”
The sentence is a link.
My first instinct is to click it. What’s the worst that can happen? I’ve seen porn before. I’ve even seen goatsee and [...]

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It’s a Phase…

Being four years old and watching Katie throw up into her bowl of cereal at breakfast. There was a crumpled up tissue on the table next to it. Started my phobia of vomiting that lasted for about five years.
Getting caught in a storm after watching The Wizard of Oz for the first time and being [...]

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3 short linchpins

1) When I was some age under 10 and my sister was perhaps 5, we were playing on the swingset at the edge of our backyard near the woods. At the end of that swingset, there was a rope ladder hung between two wooden posts that held up the frame of the swings.  On this [...]

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